Who needs sunny skies, terraces and tapas, when you can just stay in your cozy office cubicle? Spain, especially, should be avoided. The beaches are just too white, the parties are too exciting, and the landscape is too green.
1. You won’t like the wine.
2. Who cares about amazing food? Madrid may be a major culinary hub of Europe, but your microwave works wonders!
3. You’ll absolutely hate the Reina Sofia Museum, where you’ll find work from both Picasso and Dali.
4. Stay away from the bullfighting! Daytime soap operas are much more interesting.
5. The summertime weather is too sunny.
6. The locals are too welcoming.
7. Barcelona’s beachfront is 5km too long.
8. The parties go all night long.
9. The Museum of the Americas is bound to be a bore.
10. Don’t forget about Ibiza.
11. There’s too many golden beaches.
12. You can see Inland Spain on the Internet – why bother with real life?
13. Alhambra’s red walls are just so ugly.
14. The history of Alcazar of Seville is not exciting enough.
15. The Great Mosque of Cordoba will not blow your mind.
16. You will hate the waves that are perfect for surfing.
17. The tapas are too tasty and are also free at the most authentic Spanish taverns.
18. You won’t like the scheduled Siestas!
19. Spain’s Canary Islands promise too much adventure.
20. The shops are too hip, and too unique. You should stick with your familiar Westernized brands.
21. There’s too much music: free shows, festivals and performers flood the summer months.
22. The mountains of Northern Spain aren’t inspiring enough.
23. The mountains also have too much space to hike, camp, fish and explore.
24. No one needs to see medieval architecture.
25. Leon Cathedral’s immensity is overrated.
26. Don’t bother visiting Toledo to experience the incredible religious influence.
27. The markets are bursting with fresh produce, but you should stick to your takeout at home.
28. The Roman ruins of Merida are a waste of time.
29. Laguardia, the walled city, is a blast from the past that you should skip. The village might be central to the Roija wine region, and from the 13th century, but you won’t like it.
30. Valencia’s Oceanografic is too big and too mesmerizing. You don’t need to see Europe’s largest aquarium when you can stay home with your pet goldfish.
31. Did I mention that you will hate the wine?
Ya, Spain will make you miserable. You should probably not go.